The small print

Downstream to your door

Nothing ships from the pond, because nothing is stocked at the pond. The moment you click through to Amazon, your parcel enters Amazon's own river system — and it is a very good river system.

Delivery speed, shipping cost, Prime eligibility and carrier are all determined by the Amazon listing you buy from, at the moment you buy. Most of the items on these shelves are Prime-eligible most of the time, but the checkout page — not this one — is where that promise is made.

Tracking, delays, missing parcels and where-is-my-order questions all live in your Amazon account under Your Orders. Amazon's support can see your parcel; we genuinely cannot, and a swan would only honk unhelpfully at it.

One practical note from the bank: the spray cans are pressurized containers, and on rare occasions a listing may note shipping restrictions for certain regions or methods. If the listing says it cannot swim to your address, that is Amazon's rule, not ours — and usually another listing can.